Let's be real: parenting is hard. Teaching is hard. And when you're navigating both sides of the equation—especially during a school year filled with changing expectations, emotions, and academic pressures—it helps
a lot when parents and teachers feel like they're on the same team.
But sometimes, that parent-teacher dynamic can feel…tense. Or awkward. Or nonexistent. You might feel intimidated. Or unsure of when you're "allowed" to reach out. Or maybe you've had a less-than-great experience in the past and feel like there's no real relationship there to build on.
Teachers
want to partner with you. They want to help your child succeed, and most of them would welcome proactive, respectful communication.
Here's how to foster a better, stronger relationship with your kids' teachers—without being "that" parent.
👋 1. Start Early (and Kindly) Don't wait until there's a problem to introduce yourself. Whether it's via email or a quick hello at back-to-school night, a short, friendly note saying "Hi, I'm [Name], I'm [Child]'s parent and we're excited for this year" goes a long way. Teachers remember the parents who start with kindness, not complaints.
💬 2. Lead with Collaboration, Not Criticism If something's not working—an assignment is unclear, your child is stressed, a grade seems off—reach out with curiosity, not confrontation. Use language like:
➡️ "I'd love to get your perspective on…"
➡️ "Can we work together to support them with…"
This makes it a shared problem-solving conversation instead of a blame game.
⏰ 3. Respect Their Time Teachers are juggling a lot—lesson plans, emails, meetings, grading, and let's not forget, dozens of other kids. Keep your messages concise and clear. If it's urgent, ask for a short call. If it's not, send a note and trust they'll get back to you.
🏠 4. Share What They Can't See You know your child best. If there's a big change at home (a move, loss, anxiety flare-up),
clue the teacher in. It gives them context and helps them support your child in a more holistic way.
👏 5. Acknowledge the Good A quick email that says, "Thank you for helping [Child] feel more confident in math," or "We really appreciated the science project support"
can make a teacher's entire week. It's easy to forget that praise is just as important as problem-solving.
📝 6. Be Your Child's Advocate—But Not Their Lawyer Your child will face challenges. That's part of life. Your job isn't to fix everything for them—it's to help them develop resilience and advocate for themselves, with your guidance. Help them write their own email or prepare to ask their teacher questions during office hours. Encourage independence while staying supportive.
At the end of the day, it's about partnership. You and your child's teacher both care deeply about your kid. When you show up with openness, empathy, and mutual respect, you create a stronger, more effective support system—and that benefits everyone involved.
Joanna (Co-founder of TA)
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